Jealousy can be a great motivator – don’t ignore it.
Constructive jealousy comes into play when you look at your colleagues,
competitors and friends and see that they are doing better than you. When you
look at what they are doing well you can emulate it yourself. You want them to succeed so you can ride on
their coat-tails or even do better than them. When a group of you start
competing a little you will find that all of you improve dramatically. This is
a like a chain reaction of behaviours.
Destructive jealousy is about copying people blindly and trying to
prevent them from further success. You may buy the same clothes and model of
car as them. You may tell your friends and family how much you hate them and
how they don’t deserve what they’ve got. Your behaviours become destructive to
others and yourself.
If you think I’m just making up all the above, then ask yourself why
biographies and self-help books are bestsellers. We like to see what others
have done to succeed and try and emulate them.
Destructive jealousy mostly applies to your relationships with people
in a similar circumstance to you – e.g. you went to school together, you were
friends growing up, you both started your career with the same employer, etc.
Keep an eye on yourself and next time you feel that pang of enviousness
try and find a way to turn it into a positive driver.
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